And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
(via coastlineteens)
All my friends are happy and in relationships or going somewhere in life and I’m just like:
(Source: sleepingwithofpiercethemice)
Update: your crush still doesn't like you back
i dont date in high school because no one is rich yet so whats the point
(via shortstuffkim)
